Let's start off by defining both spellings of the color which seems to now be "the" color of the season...ala (
Pinterest):
Grey is the combination of black and white and is the most neutral of all the shades. It is a conservative color and good for use as a background color.
Gray (also will take on qualities of its colored undertone) Neutral, Non-committal, cold sophisticated.
Grey can also signify psychologically gloominess, sadness, ghosts, ashes, cobwebs, and the dust of a haunted house and other scary things.
So I guess for this post I am both tones of Gray/Grey......
Matt and I had both agreed when we moved here to never speak of the gloominess of this weather. We were mainly excited to come to a town that offered seasonal changes, a chance to wear a heavy coat/scarf/rainboots. I took it upon myself to purchase a multitude of all...including three different color rainboots, hats galore and more scarves than I really need. Did I mention I also have a ton of boots...and I can actually wear them here. This So-Cal born and bread girl was mighty excited to experience a real winter.
Enter March....or the ides of March if you will. It has been Grey for 7 days straight and I am crawling out of my skin. This weather can really do a number on your psyche. I used to scoff at the folks who went all crazy in Seattle or other ugly weather regions for complaining...I mean really, what is the big deal? Well I will tell you what the big deal is! It's freaking depressing!!!
The shinny new penny feeling of this move to Oregon is slowly starting to wear off. The realization that we have zero family around, no real friendships made and are just here....alone ....is starting to creep in. Matt is still floating on cloud nine and is in his dream job so for him, this is not the case. This girl however (pointing at self) is sitting in a coffee shop working and has had enough. For those that know me, know full well what a socializer I am. Welp, here, that has almost been reduced to a zero on the socializing scale...only counting the daycare drop off/pick ups as my time to chat it up with the kids teachers. The parents in the kidlets classes are not overly eager to make a new friend. No play dates have been set, no "let's grab coffee" offers have been thrown out there...nada. Don't get me wrong, I am TRYING. I have met a couple of really cool women but they have their own lives and have "their" group that they cling to and as we get older it just seems like there isn't much time to add in another really cool girl (referring to myself) into the mix. I find myself clinging onto my FB timeline for any updates on my ladies in Sactown and So Cal...finding out what everyone us up to and living vicariously through their ladies nights and weekend gatherings. It's pathetic!
Don't get me wrong, I really like Portland. This move was crucial for our family and was a blessing that I won't nay-say...but man...I really miss people...I really mis MY people. The people who know me, who love me, who laugh at/with me....who share bottles of wine with me.
So in closing...today is a Grey day...and I am allowed to say it's Grey...but being the ever optimist...maybe tomorrow the sun will shine a little. Maybe a new friend will be met and maybe I will find MY place here.
xo
DM
